So. How does this saga continue? On Oct. 14 th with Cameron in tow as well as Adam, who was visiting, I showed up at the Cancer Center. I visited Sue first.

Sue has had ovarian cancer over 3 years ago and dealing with a recurrence right now. It is really upsetting and worrisome that NOTHING was detected. She had her bloodwork and tests, she had her CT scan and all showed ‘clear’. She had complained about pain but also ‘diagnosed’ herself… thus saving docs the trouble and cost of medical school. She kept telling her oncologist that she may have ‘appendicitis.’!!!! I believe that ANY time a cancer patient complains of a long lasting pain, you don’t send her home. They all trusted these tests. And then, she had emergency surgery and it was finally noticed that she has new tumors. So. Now a much worse scenario. But she’s fighting the fight. As one motto says in our group: Fight like a girl”. Big shout-out to Gerald, her husband, who is such a tremendous help with everything.

We’ve lost 3 of our ‘Teal Warrior’s. Wow. So young. There’s Sonya, not quite 48 years  who did not get to see her grandchild being born. Not even the measly-amount of 3-6 mos ‘given time’, was upheld. We are all reeling. Of course, the unspoken fear is, that ‘YOU’ are next. We’re all moving in a little closer to each other, as if for protection. Who will the Boney guy pick next? You all duck!!

Here I am, after a whole month being absent from the ward and visiting Sue, I went to Doc’s office. Cameron was there. First thing: Scan shows no new growths. No significant changes. I asked her if she thought I could stay off chemo for another 6-8 weeks and give this Tears of Phoenix’ a chance. If we start chemo and, at the same time, take this, I won’t ever know if it really worked. Since the last 2 chemo’s did not work anyway, I’m not losing a lot.

It does feel odd. No chemo. No radiation. No magic pill. Only a tiny, dark powerhouse. I spread that grain of rice-size cannabis on my cracker and the taste of it, errupts in dramatic shakes all over me. I do not like this at all. Yuck. I have now sheduled my ‘waking errands and chores’ before I take anything because I am totally useless, once I have it.

It’s a good thing, one can’t overdose. I thought I was ready to doulbe my dose. It had been 10 days, although when I have an appointment or some things to drive to, I won’t take anything because I cannot function. After about 35 min there was this pressure around my forehead and my surroundings were compromised. Like swimming through Molasses. I tried to get up but couldn’t. It took all I had to GET up! When I finally managed to be upright, I bounced off the wall like the bumper-game machine. That night was really horrible. Dreams and images, torn and loud.. …but I noticed that was me coughing my lungs out. Terrible cold to boot.

My grandson, nearly 19 years old, is here to help me. All the way from Alabama. They move 10 years ago but he’s till our Colorado boy. Have not seen him in a long time and I sure hope he can withstand my present life. We had the ‘booze-drug’ talk and a few others. Done. He has worked in the yard, cutting down some of those silly trees that have thousands of seed pods to procreate and they’re such a nuisance.

What if ‘Tears’ of Phoenix’ does not work? Well, there are a few chemo’s left (that may not work either.) Meanwhile I now have problems walking with these compromised legs. Still taking Werferin but can’t go far. Maybe around the block. I really have to increase my distances. I am just tired.

I borrowed Pumpkin. My best Poodle buddy. He snugggles up and stays close and is totally devoted. I wish he could fetch and carry. But, I have to get up and go for a walk with him. (NO! Please. No dogs for a gift.) I have Cassie next door, whom I love and visit. There’s Bruno, another fun dog and Pumpkin. Those are enough.

There is always something else to rattle my brain and make me shake all the way to my “argyle socks’, if I had any. I’ve had another CA 125 (the cancer marker blood test) after my second ‘Doxil’ chemo to find out how it is working. Well, the Hawaiian Punch carried NO punch. My numbers went up a few points. In itself not a drastic change were it not in the middle of CHEMO treatment!! Now what? I can’t quite understand it. This had never occurred to me that chemo may not work. Doc is not giving me another chemo until we find out why this one has not worked.  She will say:’ Cancer cells got smarter’.

What is our option now? Atom bomb? Next step is CT scan. Is there, perhaps a new tumor? Is this the preventing factor that cancer cells don’t die? In a few days, this question will be answered. Wait for blood test, wait for phone call, wait for news, wait for next step. Wait for CT scan. Wait….

I had researched the ‘Tears of Phoenix’ quite a bit a few years ago but

THC and CBD mixture the size of a grain of rice

could not find anything on where they make them, who makes them, what it is exactly. Meanwhile, there is a LOT of information on You Tube. The founder’s name is Rick Simpson. He had to leave the country, years ago because the Fed’s were after him. This goes with all the horrid meds are allowed but let someone invent something cheaper that actually helps, well there’s hell to pay. Of course, Medicare (Nor any other ‘care’) will  pay for this. So it was out of my budget zone.

Then, something absolutely wonderful happened. A Facebook friend told me that she and a few of her friends were talking about my situation. The exorbitant cost of being sick. She asked if I had a Pay Pal account because her friend would create a “Widget’ for me. (A ‘what’s -it??) Never heard of it. But soon, there was this Widget on our Camino page (under ‘Read our Story’) as well as on the group page.

Pretty soon, I heard the ‘ding-ding’ of e-mail alerts on my I-phone. I looked and saw names I did not recognize, sending money. More names, some I did recognize from my German Group. ‘German Girls Living In America.’ Had not known much about the other group called ‘Laester Schwester’. Seems they are at odd with another. BUT, for my sake, this time, there was only the desire to help, putting aside their differences. (Unlike the Government, this seems to work.) So, with utmost gratitude and waves of overwhelming feelings of so much kindness and sharing of even a few dollars, had me crying. Their generosity now allowed me to purchase the very concentrated Hash oil to ingest. For the amazing hash properties to go in and tell this ‘smart-ass’ cancer cells to commit suicide.

I really, really want to thank all involved of helping me so I could buy this stuff. I was a little apprehensive. Here I am again, taking and trying more ‘stuff’. Going on some Internet info and FAITH that this will not only work but better and cheaper than chemo!! –which does not work.

Help Inge get treatment that works.  You can do so here (ignore the ad on top) where it says “Pitchin“:

I take this on a cracker, with just a little butter. The size not much larger than a half a grain of rice, and take it 3x per day. The tiny Powerhouse looks like a ‘ mouse-turd.’

So. I had my first cracker with the oil on it. My son took me out for breakfast. Not knowing what to expect, I thought oh, this is not so bad. Other than a little off center, I didn’t feel anything. Luckily not, till I got home. Then had to sit on the couch. Fog descended, things seem to move much slower. I felt like I was talking very slow myself. My son, meaning this in a good sense gave me a double dose for lunch… just before he left to drive to a wedding. Well, I sat there much later, still. I thought, ‘good Lord, I sure hope somebody comes and feeds me’. Couldn’t get off the couch. Fell asleep in the middle of one of my favorite programs. I’m thinking, the world needs more of this. They won’t argue, fight, kill each other. My foot started to feel much better but I’m not sure if this is a coincidence or some ‘early healing.’  I can’t believe that this tiny, eensy =weensy bit has that much POW.

So. After 4 days, we double the dose. I hope I have enough time taking this hash oil, before someone decides to throw chemo after it. I want to see how it helps but if I do get another chemo, I won’t know for sure whether the cell death is due to chemo or hash oil. But then again, if chemo does not work…again… except make me miserable and sick, I may ask for more ‘non-chemo’ time to allow hash oil to work. I guess, it depends on the CT scan results.

Meanwhile A BIG, HUGE Thank you to my German ‘Girls.’  Ich druecke euch alle in tiefer Dankbarkeit, das ihr mir diese Lebenschchance ermoeglicht.