The past few days have been extremely busy, what with all this cleaning, juicing, preparation of food, very early morning enema, and occasional adjustment of attitude. After all this I have come to the conclusion that I am not cut out for this particular therapy at this time. I am still juicing just not hourly.

The sheer amount of food and cost was staggering as well the exhaustive way to implement all of it. Friends came and helped out with tasks as well as buying bags of raw veggies. (God bless good friends!!) My emotional equilibrium had hit a few pot holes, trying to manage it all. I had to stop hiking which gave me such peace and joy and this whole thing was becoming overwhelming and stressful.

After the fourth or fifth juice I was nauseated. No matter what I said to myself, I was a hair away from vomiting and my stomach revolted. No matter what I tried and I did try, I could not hold the enema liquid for longer than three minutes. ( I fixed the connecting tubing problem with Duct tape. My best friend.)

I remember, after the last cancer I’d said: ‘I’m almost grateful for the cancer because it taught me so much and I learned so much about myself and loved ones and attitude, faith and gratefulness toward things.’ While this was true, I know I carried this acceptance too far. The object is to get rid of it. That’s why I did not wish to ‘own’ it, this time.

I should not have created such a nice, cozy environment for cancer to move into. (Of course worry, problems, financial matters, errant cells, etc) did the rest as well. Cancer is a symptom. We must find out the cause and must become our own detectives in this search. Having a medical professional, who is supportive certainly makes things easier. Not always the case when opinions differ from main stream medicine. An Italian oncologist believes that cancer is a fungus.

I am in search of another workable solution to treat myself. It’s like the Holy Grail. Everyone you ask for directions gives you a different one.

I remember when I talked to Senior Physician at the ‘Hufeland Clinic’ in Germany. She said that, in some cases they opt for lowering a person’s blood sugar. Cancer cells are really hungry for sugar, so they receive it as it along with a low dose of chemo and this does the trick, sneaking past the guard. The cancer cells really slurp up that sugar, then sneaking to those cells and  ‘BOOOM’. In this case the cells get poisioned, not the patient. Do we know this approach, here? Makes sense to me. This is different than toxic overload chemo usually done here.

What I remember too, is that each Physician that I saw, here and across the big pond, was telling me how lucky I am. I was of course puzzled and not only a bit irritated. Here I sit and have cancer and they’re telling me I’m lucky! Then explanation was added. To have had that many years without recurrence is extremely rare. (It had been nine years). Especially with ovarian cancer. My Doctor had told me, way back that if cancer would come back, it would be very difficult! I really wish they wouldn’t tell you things like that. I stays in the back of ones mind. So. To have ‘only’ a few small, tumors and they had not spread, was amazing. The one in the lung, was right at the edge. Clean, without creeping ‘fingers’ and easy to pluck out. Which we did. Only one left. At the spine attached to the aorta. What a place to be. Very hard to get to. This one, I’ll walk off on the camino. (There’s a plan B as well.)

Tomorrow, more tests to see the internal picture and cancer marker. I have stopped all supplements, vitamins, etc. I want a true reading.